When Attending Mediation have a Good Attitude, an Open Mind (and an Open Heart) and you just might be Pleasantly Surprised
A client walked into Apple six months ago, trying to get his alimony modified. He was not sure about hiring an attorney because he felt his previous attorney was a tiger in his office but a wallflower in Court. We finally asked us him to let us try to solve his family law problem and made a commitment to treat him like our most important client. His reluctance gave way to confidence in our firm and he hired us.![]()
The case was a garden-variety modification of alimony, one of the most heavily litigated types of family law cases. The standard for a modification of alimony is completely at the discretion of the court. The court does not have an obligation to modify; it just has the option...that is if your attorney proves the three elements. To receive a modification of alimony the petitioner, the person asking for the modification in layman's terms must demonstrate that three things have happened since the original divorce:
• The party asking for a modification must demonstrate a material change in circumstances. That means things have drastically changed for one party for the better or the worse. Sickness or long-term loss of employment can be examples of such material changes.
• This change in circumstance must not have been contemplated at the time of the divorce. For example, graduating from college would not apply. A severe illness might apply (but not always).
• The change in circumstance must be sufficient (usually meaning whatever the Judge feels is sufficient), material, permanent and involuntary. Quitting a high paying job to join the Peace Corps would not apply. Layoffs from a permanent closing of a factory might apply.
To protect my client's privacy, I won't disclose what his or her circumstances were, but I believed they warranted a permanent change in the alimony my client was paying. But the trick was convincing someone else that it was. Namely a Judge...or the other party.
Too many attorneys in family law cases litigate every single issue...we are good at arguing...but just as important as a good argument is being a good diplomat. They say you can get more with sugar than with vinegar. I convinced my client that the diplomatic approach was better than a win at all costs approach and perhaps we could tap into a well of emotions and good will. So we went in with a good attitude, and open mind...
And the other party agreed to a fifty percent reduction in alimony...in mediation.
If you want to hire an attorney who has a good heart and won't take you to the cleaners, give us a call at 904-685-1200.



Very often a client will tell me he or she wants the best possible outcome in a divorce case. He or she may want the other Parent to have diminished time with their child. Much of the time this parent thinks they are protecting their child from what they see to be a bad person. They have confused their failed relationship with this person with a failed parent, which is an entirely different thing. I take a different approach...is my client's position a reasonable one that I can justify to the Judge? The one issue that must remain on a client's mind is this: Will a third party (read the Judge) find my position reasonable?
