Articles Posted in Timesharing

co-parentingMuch that happens in life depends on the attitude that we have about things. Co-parenting and raising children properly after divorce or a relationship with the other parent has ended is no exception.   Having the right attitude is key. I’ll share a brief example using my son.

My 15 year old is genuinely a good kid. He’s silly and acts very much like a teenager, but inexplicably woven into the fabric of who he is lies a level of maturity that is beyond his age.   My son loves football and plays running back. A few weeks ago, I don’t remember the reason why, but he missed practice twice during the week, including the last day of practice before the game on the following Saturday. As a result, the coach put him on the line to block rather than allowing him to play his normal position. Now, he was upset about it, but you would never have known by watching him block with all his might, which is what he did all game long. He played his part for the day, even though it wasn’t his normal position or one he was happy with. What mattered most to him was winning. He and his teammates still had a common goal, no matter what position he played that day.

The coach commended him after the game for having the heart that he does, and also explained why he did what he had done by putting my son on the offensive line. The following week, he was back to scoring touchdowns as running back. (His team won the championship in their division by the way.) Way too often parents lose sight of the overall goal—happy, healthy children. They are petty and resentful, and don’t work together to ensure the success of their children. As co-parents, you must see the other parent as a teammate. You cannot continue to hold grudges and view them as an enemy. Having that attitude will hinder the team’s performance and make winning nearly impossible.

The need for emergency pick up orders can be brought about for various reasons.  A couple of the most common reasons I’ve encountered in my practice as a Jacksonville family lawyer are appropriate to set the stage.  Families made up fathers, mothers, and children where the parents were never married are common.  When these families split, there are less issues to address than in an actual marriage, but the most important issue still remains– the children and how time will be split between the parents while continuing to raise them together.  Under Florida law, the mother is the natural guardian of a child born out of wedlock.  A father’s signature on a birth certificate creates a legal presumption that the father is, in fact, the father, but does not give automatic rights to the father for visitation.  Visitation rights, referred to as “time sharing” must be established by the court with a parenting plan approved by the court.

Emergency pick up orders are sometimes necessary.I have found that most couples split without going to the court and filing paternity actions so a parenting plan can be established.  They attempt to sort out visitation without family lawyers and without judges.  This can work, but there are issues that can become thorns for the parents.  Two common issues I encounter as a Jacksonville family lawyer are: (1) one parent refuses to send a child back after the child has been with the other for time sharing; and (2) one parent believes that the child is in some sort of danger while in the care of the other parent and wants the court to help reclaim possession of the child.  Of course, these issues can arise even when a parenting plan has already been put in place, but resolving the issues is easier when there is an established case and a parenting plan in effect.  Note that there are different variations of scenarios that include couples that were once married and couples that were never married; however, the general principles are the same. Continue reading

According to Florida law, “It is the public policy of this state that each minor child has frequent and continuing contact with both parents after the parents separate or the marriage of the parties is dissolved and to encourage parents to share the rights and responsibilities, and joys, of childrearing.”  Simply put, people are expected to co-parent, meaning that they act as if they are still together, at least as far as it relates to the children.  This idea can sometimes get lost in the mix of things.  As a Jacksonville family lawyer and divorce lawyer, I have found that some of the biggest issues in family and divorce cases come from people’s emotions getting the better of them.  Spite can mix with anger and other emotions and lead to parents making irrational decisions concerning the parties’ children.  Way too often these irrational decisions manifest in a lack of co-parenting between parties.  The state’s policy is that each parent will have the right to spend quality time with the children, the right to participate in the lives of the children, and be part of major decisions affecting the children.  Even more important than the parents’ rights is the children’s well-being and best interest.  Having both parents involved in a child’s life is normally the best thing for him or her.

Co-parenting means children don't have to choose a parent.When a father and mother are properly co-parenting that means they are each doing what is necessary to make the lives of the children and the success of the children their number one priority.  They are working together to ensure that the children’s best interest are always put first. Simple courtesies must come from both sides, because things will arise that make it necessary for accommodations to be made for and by each parent.  For example, if a parent is running late to pick a child up for visitation, if the parenting that is waiting with the child doesn’t give a reasonable amount of extra time, this could cause issues.  When the parents don’t get along, they don’t co-parent well, and what happens a lot of times is the waiting parent won’t allow the late parent to pick the child up due to being late.  This is not successful co-parenting.

Other than being the right thing to do for the children’s sake, the willingness of the parents and their ability to successfully co-parent is something that courts will take into consideration when making decisions about custody and timesharing during a divorce or timesharing modification AND, it will be considered afterwards, if contempt proceedings come about. Parents lack of co-parenting after a parenting plan has been put into place will continue to cause issues and create more litigation, because the parent that feels wronged will sometimes file a Motion for Civil Contempt.  Contempt actions are all about a person not doing something that the judge has ordered.  Here, if a parent is not cooperating or following the parenting plan, he or she could be found in contempt and have sanctions, such as fines, imposed.

Relocation after a divorce where there are children involved can be a touchy situation.  On the one hand, there is a parent that believes he or she needs to move to accomplish some perceived improvement in life.  On the other hand, there is a parent who will suffer by having an increased distance between him or her and the children.  Both non-majority time-sharing and majority time-sharing parents can have concerns about the other ex-spouse moving far away.  However, usually, the situations call into question whether a majority time-sharing parent should be allowed to move with the children.  These types of situations are even more serious when the majority time-sharing parent wants to move with the children to another state.  Although the move is more drastic, the same factors will be considered.

Relocation

Relocation can a touchy situation.

Relocation is addressed by Florida Statute 61.13001.  Per statute, “ ‘Relocation’ means a change in the location of the principal residence of a parent or other person from his or her principal place of residence at the time of the last order establishing or modifying time-sharing, or at the time of filing the pending action to establish or modify time-sharing. The change of location must be at least 50 miles from that residence, and for at least 60 consecutive days not including a temporary absence from the principal residence for purposes of vacation, education, or the provision of health care for the child.”  The parent seeking relocation has the burden of proving that the relocation is in the best interest of the children.  The court will consider many factors, including the reason for the move, the effect the move will have on the time-sharing of the other parent, relevant economic considerations, and many other factors.

Child custody and time sharing battles in Florida divorces are always stressful situations for the people involved.  Jacksonville divorce lawyers and custody lawyers zealously represent clients who each want something different when it comes to custody or time sharing.  The judge hearing the case has to decide what is in the children’s best interest.  This is the standard that is always applied.  What the parties want, including the children, is not the controlling factor.  When the husband and wife are both fit parents and can provide a stable environment for children, difficult decisions have to be made.   So what factors will the judge consider in determining child custody and time sharing battles in Florida divorces?

man-woman-heart-5-1056041-mFlorida Statutes 61.13(3) lists several factors that judges can consider, but gives judges discretion to consider any facts that the judge deems relevant.  Click the link above to view the complete list and the full body of the statute.  Florida’s state policy is that each parent is afforded the chance to build a strong relationship with children.  The first factor on the list of things the judge is to consider is, “The demonstrated capacity and disposition of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship, to honor the time-sharing schedule, and to be reasonable when changes are required.”  In view of the State policy and the importance of having both parents actively in children’s lives to help produce healthy, emotionally balanced children, it is no coincidence that this factor is listed first.  Other factors include the future division of parental responsibility, the reasonable preference of the children, school and community records of children, moral fitness of parents, and more.

For help with child custody and time sharing issues, contact the Law Office of David M. Goldman, PLLC today at (904) 685-1200.  Initial consultations are free.  Our experienced Jacksonville divorce lawyers can help you understand your rights as a parent and coach you through a stressful divorce.  Our attorneys have years of litigation experience and are prepared to fight for you when needed, but are also skilled in assisting you with uncontested divorces or collaborative divorce.  Schedule a consultation today.

Can children choose what parent to live with after a divorce?  The short answer is probably “no”.  Most child custody lawyers would agree that custody and visitation are probably the most highly contested issues between people when relationships don’t work and the couple has had children.  Whether there is a genuine belief by a parent that children will be better off with him or her, or whether a parent is being spiteful when requesting majority timesharing, one argument that comes up is that the children prefer to live with one parent over the other.

Section 61.13, Florida Statutes states that a child’s reasonable preference about what parent to live with may be considered; however, the child’s choice will not control the court’s decision.  The court will weigh and relevant factors and decide what is in the child’s best interest.  A child’s desire to live with the “fun parent” won’t simply be taken at face value.  A child’s preference doesn’t always come into the equation, but when the preference is at issue, a child’s age, maturity level, and so on will be taken into account.  In practice, the child’s preference is likely to have little bearing on the court’s decision without there being more objective evidence that shows that the child’s preference is in line with the child’s best interest.  There are many things that come into play when the child’s best interest is being decided.  Typically, giving a child continuity and stability will be high on the priority list.  Things like whether one parent is likely to encourage a loving and nurturing relationship between the children and the other parent is important too.

For more information on child custody, visitation, divorce, and family law issues, called the experienced family lawyers at the Law Office of David M. Goldman, PLLC today at (904) 685-1200 for a free initial consultation.

During the holidays, the stress level for many Florida families inevitably goes up. With the much of Florida still stuck in the 2009 recession, unemployment still very high and the foreclosure rate in and around Jacksonville still at record levels, when family problems creep into the picture, stress can go through the roof. Add a separation or dissolution of marriage to the picture and the situation can seem unbearable.

Competing parents can make this unseeingly unbearable situation far worse by fighting over sharing time with their children. But a wise parent, with their eye on the long term will add perspective to their thought process. How do you add that perspective? By remembering two things. First, just because the holidays do not seem like a joyous time right now, does not mean that your children feel the same way. Find ways to hide this stress from your children. Don’t make them associate the holidays with economic and marital stress.

Second, instead of fighting with the competing parent, why not talk things through? Most parents don’t want their children to go through the stress of a divorce and when both parents share that attitude, the stress of sharing time with their children decreases with the level of cooperation.

American Actress and Model Halle Berry has been engaged in an emblazoned custody battle with her former boyfriend Gabriel Aubry. Berry has asked that their child, four year old Nahla, be permitted to leave with Berry to live in France. The Los Angeles Court must determine that the move is in the best interest of the child to permit it. The same standard is used here in Florida to permit a moving parent to relocate more than 50 miles away from the other parent.

Proving “best interest of the child” is not always an easy standard. It typically involves a weighing of the pros and cons of moving or staying. In Berry’s case, she argues that France has stronger protection for Nahla from the great amount of media attention she would otherwise get here in the states. This sounds like a good argument. Surely, a great amount of media attention and privacy invasion is bad for a child.

Mr. Aubry argues that the real reason for the move is Berry following her new fiance, Oliver Martinez, whom is a french film actor. He cites the fact that she has had two earlier failed marriages which is evidence that this marriage too, is likely to fail.

kids.jpgAs a Jacksonville Family Law Attorney, I am often asked whether a child timesharing order can be modified after a divorce. In short, yes, parents can change their timesharing agreement. However, if the parents do not agree about the modification, the standard under Florida Law is often difficult to satisfy.

After a final decree establishing timesharing is filed with a Jacksonville court, parents may later agree to modify its terms. Although not required, it is advisable to obtain the court’s approval for the modification so that it may later be enforceable it needed. Generally, Jacksonville courts approve modification agreements unless it appears the modification is not in the best interests of the child.

If a parent wants to change an existing timesharing agreement and the other parent will not agree to the change, he or she must petition the court to modify it. Generally, a Jacksonville court will allow a modification if the parent asking for the change can show that there has been a “substantial change in circumstances.” Some examples include a geographic move or a change in lifestyle.

paternity.jpgAs a Jacksonville Family Law Lawyer, I often have cases where a mother and father are not married to one another but they have a child in common. In my experience many men falsely believe simply because their name is on the birth certificate that they are legally the fathers. In Florida this is simply not the case! There is more that is required for unwed fathers in Florida to gain legal rights over their children.

Under Florida law, until a Judge signs an Order which determines that an unwed man is the father of a child, then the child is NOT legally his. As such, the man has no legal rights to the child. That includes no rights for timesharing and no rights over major decisions in the child’s life. This means that if the child’s mother does not want to allow the alleged father to see the child, she is under no legal obligation to do so.

In order to be recognized as the legal father in Florida it is necessary to file what is called a Petition for Determination of Paternity. Paternity actions are brought before a court in order to assist a parent in acknowledging and protecting important time-sharing and child support rights and/or obligations.

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