Much that happens in life depends on the attitude that we have about things. Co-parenting and raising children properly after divorce or a relationship with the other parent has ended is no exception. Having the right attitude is key. I’ll share a brief example using my son.
My 15 year old is genuinely a good kid. He’s silly and acts very much like a teenager, but inexplicably woven into the fabric of who he is lies a level of maturity that is beyond his age. My son loves football and plays running back. A few weeks ago, I don’t remember the reason why, but he missed practice twice during the week, including the last day of practice before the game on the following Saturday. As a result, the coach put him on the line to block rather than allowing him to play his normal position. Now, he was upset about it, but you would never have known by watching him block with all his might, which is what he did all game long. He played his part for the day, even though it wasn’t his normal position or one he was happy with. What mattered most to him was winning. He and his teammates still had a common goal, no matter what position he played that day.
The coach commended him after the game for having the heart that he does, and also explained why he did what he had done by putting my son on the offensive line. The following week, he was back to scoring touchdowns as running back. (His team won the championship in their division by the way.) Way too often parents lose sight of the overall goal—happy, healthy children. They are petty and resentful, and don’t work together to ensure the success of their children. As co-parents, you must see the other parent as a teammate. You cannot continue to hold grudges and view them as an enemy. Having that attitude will hinder the team’s performance and make winning nearly impossible.