Divorce is never an easy thing to go through. Even with the help of a Jacksonville Divorce Attorney, divorce is still a stressful process. It can often be contentious and communication breaks down. It’s important to keep a cool head and try to move forward.
But divorce is even more difficult with children involved. Couples with children have often been married longer, emotions run higher, and divorce becomes even more stressful. You might think it’s a good idea to save face in front of your children — pretending like everything is fine even when it isn’t.
But this tactic may not be as useful as you think. Kids are smart and pick up on things: they know when something’s wrong. They get stressed. They get anxious. They need to be informed of what’s going on. The Huffington Post has a good article explaining some of the steps you should take when you sit down with your children.
It won’t be an easy conversation, but it’s one that will have lasting beneficial effects. First, remember to tell your children that your divorce is not from them — you are still their parents and you’ll still be there for them.
During this conversation, no matter how contentious the parents are, you need to avoid blaming each other. Don’t focus on yourselves; focus on your children. Remind them that this is a mutual decision; it’s nobody’s “fault” that this is happening. Most important, remind them the divorce is not their fault.
After this conversation, remember that your children need to grieve. You know them better than anyone and, depending on their age, you’ll have a better idea of how they will react. But it’s important to let them know that grieving is a good thing. If they tell you everything is fine, they’re probably just doing what you may have been doing at the beginning: putting on a brave face and internalizing. Remind them that you are still their parents and you are still there for them.
Finally, don’t let this one conversation be the end of the discussion. Help your children understand their new world. How you do this will depend on your situation, but it’s important not to lose focus. Make sure you do all you can to help them get comfortable with their new routine.
Of course, more work goes into counseling your children than any blog or online resource can provide. You need to be proactive with your children and do all you can to make your divorce as easy as it possibly can be. If you have any questions, contact a Jacksonville Divorce Attorney to discuss your situation. A qualified Jacksonville Divorce Attorney can help you through the process. It won’t be easy, but help is available. Call today to schedule a free consultation.
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